I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
