Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
