I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
