Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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