So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
