I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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