I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
not ubering you a puppy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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