i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
