Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
