the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
