fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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