Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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