when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
