Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
