Sponge bath it is.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
