Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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