woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
