the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
whose parrot is this?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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