I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Enjoy the penises
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
