I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
