I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
