i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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