He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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