Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
