Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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