did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize