dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
