I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I looked at my own cervix.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
