I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
