We won't sleep together?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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