Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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