I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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