Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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