The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
