You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
