Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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