Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
