Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize