as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
