I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
