Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
