I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
