I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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