i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
