how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He better not be in your backpack
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I could fuck to npr.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
