I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
