if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
