You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
