Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize