How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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