just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
