I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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