Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
