Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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