bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
