my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize