I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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