the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
