i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
