just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
