You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
