girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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