Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
