I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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