No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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