I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize