Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
